The Journey

 

 

2013 has been labeled my year of testing....I do not regret the pain or the heartache, but I do regret my stubbornness to ask for Him when I was in my deepest pain...He never gave up on me this year.  I was hopelessly wandering, confused and hurt.  This being one of the biggest reasons I haven't been writing on here... My brain and heart were arguing for several months and I was letting them without being the referee!! Not a wise choice-especially when I tried to do it in my own strength!

 

The Lord has been teaching me so much in these last few months leading into the New year, He's still teaching me-don't get me wrong:) But my goals have been given a vision, my sight has been cleared, and although I am still in the training grounds-trust and love have slowly begun to build themselves in my life.

 

 

 

I think that's one of the biggest things He has taught me in the last year...to love and trust....again, let me explain.  Growing up I was known as the girl with the heart on her sleeve, I love to love! (no I'm not talking about guys here!:) I'm talking about life, people, and most importantly-my family.

 

 

 

But this past year God gave me a new test: Would I allow someone into my inner sanctuary of my heart and trust them to love me the way He has loved me? 

 

I entered a relationship, and soon found out that my inner sanctuary was not ready to be opened-I was not ready to love and trust in that special way. But through the relationship my walls were bruised and a battleground ensued... When we ended the relationship I felt immense relief-but at the same time like a wrecking ball had come in and destroyed my carefully constructed walls of safety. 

 

I didn't know how to trust anymore, I was hesitant to ever let myself show any love towards friends and family for fear that as I was picking up the pieces to my wall they might knock it down and put a

brick of love there instead of the lead and iron I wanted to put up so that I could never get hurt again.

 

And since love and trust had been my area of strength and power all through the years of growing up-I felt stripped and raw and immediately started my search to find a plug to keep my emotions at bay. 

 

"In our own injury we seek to fill that hole with our own water instead of Living Water.

What's the water?  It can be other people, stuff, experiences, busy schedules....

Momentarily our hole fills-only to leak out again. 

We believe somehow, in our own effort, we can heal ourselves, fix ourselves, put our Humpty Dumpty selves back together.  But we can't. Ever. That's why we're tired."
Mary E. DeMuth

 

 

 I am not an emotional girl, I don't do the; 'read into everything', 'hold onto issues' bit.  My Dad took me under his wing when I was little and taught me how to let things go-life is too short for anger and strife. 

 

So I was gasping for air.  Emotions were flooding me and I felt like I was drowning. I was clinging to God, but I didn't want help-I just wanted to be held and to never face mankind again-it was SO much simpler that way!! 

 

But then He started to pry my hands away from Him and show me that life doesn't stop just because pain is present, its my training ground...so start exercising..

 

 

"Leave the irreparable past in His hands,

and step out into the irresistible future with Him."

Oswald Chambers

 

 

God began to show me, in little steps-I was not just made of His love-He had given me other talents and other defining traits that I didn't want to recognize.  It was nice living the life as the girl who was always known for her love...but that wasn't supposed to be my identity!!

 

His patience with me and taking me through the tunnel this past year has changed me.  I suppose the saying that "when you come through a trial you are never the same person" stands very clear to me right now. 

 

Love has once again been reinstated towards my family and friends and trust is building slowly.  That's my journey right now, and a journey I am excited to take!

 

So, with the start of 2014 it is a 365 day book of my life, each day has a purpose that can change in an instant if my eyes don't stay fixed on the Master Writer. I am excited for His plans and I'm back to blogging, I can't wait to share more as He teaches me!

 

 



 

God Bless! Christy Galkin...I love this Song...I hope it will bless you as it has me!

Spiritual Battle

Being a good Christian is something that can keep a person up at night.  Needing to feel like life is a stage and the actor\actress in us calls out loudly;

"Perform!".

But a peaceful voice always counters it..(and is many times shut down) that says:

 "Rest in Me, you are already accepted."

The Girl Next Door says:

"Impress"

The Activist declares,

"Impact!"

The Heroine (who feels its her duty to care for all) says,

"Responsibility!"

The Bystander in us whispers:

"Stay invisible!!"

The Judge Demands:

"Follow the Rules!"

The Intellectual Demands,

"I have to be right!"

The Dreamer sighs,

"Someday..."

(This list was compiled from Emily P. Freeman's book Graceful)

In this list there are things that are usually considered good traits, be responsible, impact others, don't make people uncomfortable, perform!  But these traits become our enemy if they challenge your real identity in Christ.  More often than not these voices say:

"We know who you really are, better cover up before someone finds out!"

Satan has constructed a good system of destroying the unique package of "God made you" and replaced it with "You are not enough if you don't do...any or all of the things listed."
Satan really only cares about us becoming useless for God.  But you do actually have the ability and power through Christ to choose to listen to the voices or not.  Christ's love and salvation for us is a free gift, so He's also given us the freedom to decide whether we want to hide behind the good Christian identities or believe the truth of our real identity in Christ.

The spiritual battle that rages around us has a specific target-to destroy anything and everything that glorifies God.  The earth is Satan's domain-temporarily. And realizing the bondage's he places in our lives is crucial!

Lies that we believe about our self include: I'm a failure, I must protect myself or be hurt, I always mess up, I'm not enough, I was a mistake and the list goes on.  The choice to change our real identity in Christ and mask it if it has any little flaw happens to all of us! We try to drown out the realization of our own choice to mar Christ's creation by pulling our self into good works to try and make up for the usefulness that could've been if we hadn't changed His plan and hide His perfect creation!

I recently returned from a conference in Indiana, Indianapolis, and at that conference I met my battle partners and prayer warriors.  They are my sister's in Christ and as this spiritual battle is fiercely real-
its about time I really started treating it like my love one's could die-and they can and are-spiritually dying. Satan can rob them of their true potential if there is an opening left wide enough for him to enter and begin to plant lies.

So what are your voices covering up?  What lies are chaining you to the ground?

Carry the Cross!!

Luke 9:23

"And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me."

The commitment Christ is asking from all those who follow Him is to be faithful, to trust, to serve, and to commit to live in a manner holy and acceptable unto God.  Just making the right moral decisions in our Christian life isn't enough, because then we are missing the 18 inches from head to heart if we 'just' make 'good' choices.  The true, on-fire for Christ Christian walk is a life that focuses on others and how to impact the world for Christ in all manners, all situations, and all places.

My pastor gave this quote in church last week:

"You don't need to know God's will and how the path will lead in order to trust Him. You simply need to follow."

Now the word "simply" doesn't mean "easy". Simply in this context means leaving the fleshly fear on  the doorstep where it belongs and taking the Savior's hand. Walking beside the One who died for you, who wants to protect and hold you and never let you go.

The Christian life isn't about rules, it's about relationship. Going to church on Sunday and Wednesday are wonderful times of getting challenged in the Word, fellowshipping with like-minded Christian friends and encouraging everyone to walk with Christ in the days to come.  But ultimately, your relationship with God is going to grow the most from your daily time with Him.  Setting aside the world's pressing agenda and, as the verse says, 'taking up the cross daily' to follow Him.

(Excerpt from L.L's books)
"When God's spirit is given His rightful place in a young person's life, He transforms their personality to reflect His beauty, His grace, His selflessness.  He can overtake any personality, whether you are outgoing or more reserved.  And either way, the end result is always the same: We decrease, He increases.  You don't lose your own personality. Rather, your personality becomes what it was intended to be: A tool to draw eyes to Jesus Christ and not yourself."

Living in this perverse world and crumbling society can be extremely difficult on Christians, living a
life set on fire for the Lord can be difficult, you will face persecution for choosing a different path, for carrying the cross as Jesus asks.  But you never saw any of the great men and women of the Bible live, what we consider "normal lives".  They never stopped defying the world's standards and following Christ's standards!

We were born to live lives that stand out and away from the world! God chose you specifically, for a certain purpose in this brief time on earth...I want to be able to say that I didn't "rust out for Him" I "ran out everything for Him!"

 

God Bless!!

Homemaking

"Homemaking is surely in reality the most important work in the world.  What do ships, railways, mines, cars, government, ect. exist for except that people maybe fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes?...The Homemaker's job is one for which all others exist."
C.S Lewis

He's my very best friend

Always the Same

I am His, He is mine; Jesus knows my name.

I can rest in His arms; He's always the same.

When I fall, when I call, Jesus takes my hand.

Cleansing me, lifting me, He helps me to stand.

Always the same!

O praise His name!

Jesus never changes, He's always the same.

Always together, His love is forever

Jesus never changes He's always the same.

In His love, I'm secure;

We shall never part!

In His Word I will trust, and give Him all my heart.

In the dark of the night, When my heart would fear.

Lovingly, tenderly, my Savior is near.

Always the same!

O praise His name!

Jesus never changes, He's always the same.

Always together, His love is forever

Jesus never changes He's always the same.

Ron Hamilton

Drawing close to Him

Hello everyone,

I know it's been a while since my last post, and I'm sorry:(

This summer seems to be flying by! My family and I went on our first vacation in 10 years a couple weeks ago! We visited Niagara Falls, the Creation Museum, and finished it off with a WIT conference in Indiana, Indianapolis. To tell you all the things I learned at that conference would take an entirely different and long post-so we'll save it for later:) Suffice to say I came back with a delightful southern accent after being one of the only "northerners" at the conference:)

I just wanted to post something brief that I've been learning in my devotions, it's been a wild ride this year so far, and still so much more to fill in! God has given His unending grace and shield of protection countless times already, we serve an amazing God! And lately, He has been pressing the need to spend more time seeking Him in my day to day life...I read a story that will illustrate what I'm talking about perfectly:

An appointment with the King

"As the story goes, a traveling evangelist in England in the eighteenth century was asked to appear before one of the most prestigious and influential men in the country.  Many had sought an audience with this rich lord, but only a few were granted the illustrious privilege of his company for an evening.

The evangelist welcomed an opportunity to share a meal with this man who was interested in understanding more about his work for Christ throughout the English countryside.  But as the night waxed on and the clock struck seven, the evangelist rose from the table and declared plainly,

"Thank you for a wonderful evening, but I must be going."

Startled by this man's impertinence and disregard for English custom, the rich lord replied,

"Do you not know that my table is the most highly sought after table in England? I receive hundreds of requests each day to gain my audience. Do you have the audacity to remove yourself before our night is through?"

The humble evangelist looked back toward the rich lord with a confidence in his eyes that was shocking to the wealthy kinglet. And in a very certain tone he said,

"I have an appointment with the Lord of Heaven and earth, and I dare not be tired and I dare not be late."

This story hit home with me as I often think of the times I pull all-nighters to be with my friends, watch a movie with my sis, or simply decide to sleep in in the morning because I don't want to get up.  Now, in my house you do have to get up between 7-8 because we have barn chores to do, but we always try and do our devotions before we get out of bed as a way of starting the day right, with Him at the forefront. 

A lady in my church is being convicted about the same thing, she mentioned that if we had to go to work every morning to check in with our boss- we would never be late, we would never look sloppy, and we would make the appointment-because this man\woman is important....how much more so is God!

When I decide to wake up late and end up going out to do barn chores first-it is a rare day that I go back in the house and put aside time to pull my devotions out.  If I desire my relationship with God to be greater and stronger than any I can ever have here on earth, I have to be willing to abandon my self thoughts, my own agenda and realize that every day is the day He might come home, He is looking for His warriors, His princesses, His servants!

Amy Carmichael once wrote a letter to a group of pastors, asking them if they knew any young woman who could come join her in her work. The young woman must have a passion for Christ and a desire to serve Him with her whole heart. Not just outwardly was she to have this display, but it was to be seen as something deeper that was still just as noticeable." Every pastor replied in saying "Not only do we not have any young ladies like this in our church, we do not know where to find one."

I do not want to stand before God one day and say I held back pursuing Him because of my own agenda, He formed me for His master plan, and although He sometimes may hide the path from view...He always is walking right beside me, waiting for me to turn and actually talk with Him! Not just pray once that day, don't just open the Bible once a day, but pursue Him all day and with all my heart!

Well, that's all for now:) This has been on my heart and I hope it has encouraged you in some way, I know for me, to write it out and see it makes it a great reminder!:)

God Bless!

Memorial Day...A day to remember

We set asideMemorial Day Each and every yearTo honor those who gave their livesDefending what we hold dear.In all the dark and deadly wars,Their graves prove and remind us,Our brave Americans gave their allTo put danger far behind us.They made the ultimate sacrificeFighting for the American way;We admire them and respect themOn every Memorial Day.By Joanna Fuchs

This Memorial Day is especially hard for me as it marks the two month anniversary of my Grampa's passing...his service in WW2 and his zeal for his country and family he passed down to all of his kids and grandkids.  I haven't been able to write about him here on my blog as it's still hard to believe he's not here anymore. But praise God for His timing...the day before Grampa died he accepted Christ as his Savior through my Dad's final words with him. We all rejoiced in the knowledge that we will see him again! After 19 years of prayer God opened the door and welcomed His son home...
Memorial Day is so meaningful...it reminds me of the sacrifice Christ made on the cross...Americans have died to keep me safe, to keep their families safe, to keep their country safe...God Bless America!